(Read in the voice of a government solicitor who hasn’t slept since the Howard era.)
By accessing, viewing, scrolling, glancing at, or accidentally brushing your thumb across any portion of DoNotComply.au (hereinafter “The Website,” “This Digital Entity,” or “The Thing You Are Currently Looking At”), you hereby acknowledge, affirm, and irrevocably consent to the following terms, conditions, sub‑conditions, meta‑conditions, and implied existential burdens, whether or not you have actually read them, understood them, or possess the will to continue.
For the avoidance of doubt, nothing contained herein shall be construed, interpreted, inferred, implied, or hallucinated as legal advice, medical advice, financial advice, relationship counselling, spiritual guidance, or instructions for the safe operation of a forklift. Any resemblance between the content of this website and common sense is purely coincidental and not to be relied upon in any jurisdiction, real or imagined.
DoNotComply.au expressly disclaims all liability, responsibility, culpability, accountability, and any other synonyms that might later be invented by a parliamentary committee. This includes, but is not limited to, consequences arising from: – acts of civil disobedience, – acts of civil compliance, – acts of mild sass toward government officials, – the sudden realisation that authority is often just a hi‑vis vest and a clipboard, – or any emotional distress caused by discovering that bureaucratic power evaporates when questioned politely but firmly.
By continuing to engage with this website, you agree that any complaints, grievances, objections, or interpretive dance protests must be submitted in triplicate, notarised by a Justice of the Peace who is probably unavailable, and lodged via Form 88‑Z (“General Complaint About Things That Upset Me”), which can only be obtained by attending a government office between the hours of 2:14pm and 2:17pm on alternating Wednesdays, excluding public holidays, school holidays, and days ending in “y”.
Furthermore, any government department, agency, sub‑agency, taskforce, working group, advisory panel, steering committee, or miscellaneous acronym that feels offended, attacked, mocked, ridiculed, or accurately described by the content herein is advised to seek immediate emotional support from their nearest HR representative, or alternatively, to simply just ignore it and look away just like you didn’t notice those homeless people the other day.
By remaining on this site, you confirm that you have read, understood, and agreed to this disclaimer, even if it was delivered at 900 words per second by a man who sounds like he’s being waterboarded with instant coffee.
Authorised by
D. Clyne
Compliance Refusal Division
Department of Non-Compliance
donotcomply.au